Chapter 4: Spiritual Transition
1. Illumination (the holy yard)
After turning away from the modern city (“Cloud Platoon”), Oddward finds the “holy yard” praised by Anima, where he hopes to find peace. It is a place of reflection, knowledge if not even enlightenment. Oddward finds himself again for the first time and enjoys reaching redemption in a spiritual way and is more and more in harmony with himself, the place and the people who live here.
The religious idea, the hope associated with it and the longed for peace of mind, trigger in him the highest feelings of happiness and let him gradually forget the dark events and memories from the past. He feels enlightened and strong in a way and is almost certain that he has found what he was looking for: illumination!
At the moment of enlightenment Oddward feels that this marks a turning point in his life, but the realization is clouded, because he already suspects that another rude awakening is imminent. At that moment Aurora appears before Oddward’s eyes as a kind of angel. Enlightenment reaches its climax, but not in the way Oddward imagined. The dark forces are noticeably forming, which Aurora also warns him emphatically.
Despite all the advantages and the supposed perfection of this place, the holy yard gradually turns out to be a kind of illusion. Oddward initially drew knowledge and energy here, but the sacred aura is getting more and more cracks. Much here is not always what it appears to be.
However, thanks to the experienced contemplation, Oddward feels stronger than ever before and is ready to face anything and everything. He is almost fanatical about it and notices himself that this is not a good thing. There is a certain inner turmoil here and Oddward is already preparing himself for a fight.
Oddward realizes that the flight into spirituality does not bring sufficient knowledge, let alone perfect peace. On the contrary, in the end he feels insecure and once again gripped by darkness.
2. Transition (Confessions of a nihil god)
In the course of his enlightenment, a new feeling spreads in Oddward at the same time, which he cannot initially assign and which seems strange to him. He then slowly falls into a kind of gloomy trance state in which he seems to ponder absently.
The voices appearing again and again (in his head) increase more and more and he even thinks he can feel physical changes in himself. A kind of gloom spreads within him, which seems to take hold of him more and more. In the course of this transformation, Oddward realizes that he is not who he thought he was. His identity is cracked. He realizes that Anima is no longer his companion, but that she is part of him. This realization initially throws Oddward off track and threatens to lose his mind.
Shortly before his ultimate breakdown, a divine figure appears to him, which makes him understand that he is not cursed or crazy, but that he has a special gift that sets him apart from most people. What exactly this gift is, however, is not clear, but it has to do with Anima, which he now partially sees instead of himself when he looks in the mirror.
Oddward accepts his fate and is relieved at this realization. However, he also realizes that he can no longer stay in this place. The “enlightened ones” are increasingly harassing him, who seem to see him as a kind of traitor who has desecrated their place. Thereupon Oddward plans his escape.
3. Rebellion (Annihilation Of Archaic Wisdom)
Unfortunately, Anima‘s premonitions have come true. While Oddward was still on his enlightenment trip, the other residents have conspired against him and are planning his capture. Oddward tries to escape, but a group of residents manage to capture him and put him in a kind of dungeon under the temple.
To his surprise, he finds that he is not the only apostate. An old, bearded man and a young woman who, like him, seem to have a special aura, were also imprisoned, but apparently a long time ago. The old man, who looks like an older version of Oddward himself, talks about his life experiences and encourages him not to let the situation get him down. The young woman who reminds Oddward of Aurora shows him the hopelessness of this place and urges him to flee with them.
Together they actually manage to leave the dungeon and the temple. On the way out, they are drawn into various fights with guards who have been waiting for them by the walls of the yard. When negotiating the outer wall, the group noticed that outside the walls there was almost complete darkness. The holy yard, on the other hand, shines in a white light and gradually dissolves into thin air the further you get away from it. When the young stranger takes his hand and tells him that she wants to fly to the stars with him, Oddward loses consciousness. When he wakes up again he is alone in his spaceship again.